Tammy and I are blessed to be able to share James' story with different audiences, and we often talk about the impact one life sold out for Christ can make.  I thought about that last week while once again trying to catch up on my Sports Illustrated reading.  I’m only about three months behind.  I came across an excerpt from a book written by Jack McCallum, a writer for Sports Illustrated, about the 1992 US Olympic basketball team, also known as The Dream Team.  This particular article covered the greatest game no one ever saw.  It chronicled a scrimmage between the players on the team, with Michael Jordan as captain of one team and Magic Johnson as captain of the other.  The story also talked about some of the players on the team.  One that caught my eye was David Robinson, starting center for the San Antonio Spurs, who would later be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame.  The team practiced on the island of Monaco before the Olympic games that year, and would play golf as one of their non-basketball activities.  McCallum wrote, “By Dream Team time, Robinson had, as he puts it, "been born again in Christ." He didn't drink or swear and was finding it uncomfortable to be around those who did. But a golf course—certainly one with Charles Barkley on it—is a very tough place for a true believer. Our fivesome played on, insults and four-letter words flying. At one point Robinson complained to Hubbard about Drexler's cussing and also wanted Barkley to tone it down. Charles seemed to comply, but then—I believe around the 14th hole—he let loose with another barrage, all of it in good humor but salty. So Robinson shook his head, smiled, picked up his bag and left.  In my mind's eye, I still see Robinson walking off the course on that day. Most athletic teams and most athletic relationships are built on sophomoric humor, insults and jokes, all wrapped in testosterone. To stand with your team yet somehow to have the guts to stand alone from time to time ... now, that takes a particular kind of man.”A particular kind of man.  As I sit here and listen to a story about Daniel, who lived a life committed to God, despite overwhelming odds, I thought about how difficult it is to stand alone, strong in your faith.  That’s obviously what impressed Jack McCallum that day as he saw David Robinson walk off the golf course.  I wonder if I could do that today at 54, but James did it at 17.  Too often we just give in to the bad behavior by saying, "everybody does it."  Tammy and I had that conversation the other day with the mom of a friend of James, who said that was often the comeback comment of their child to inputs they would provide as parents.  There were times James would say it, too, but he worked to stay grounded.  We’ve shared the letter James wrote when he applied for Freshman Summer Experience at Georgia.  His letter of acceptance for the summer program arrived during the 17 day search.  Not long after, we received a note back from the admissions department at UGA, along with James’ letter.  The admissions department wrote, “James submitted a thoughtful essay that discussed his upcoming first year of college, his participation in our program, and his excitement about attending the University of Georgia.”  James wrote about all of that, but he shared where he stood.  He closed his letter with the words:  “My mind is pretty flexible; however, I consider myself well-grounded in my beliefs and my faith will never budge.  I stand strong in what I believe in, even if I stand alone.”  A particular kind of man.  Much like David Robinson did while playing golf that day, James lived what he believed.  He was willing to stand alone.  It does take a particular kind of man, and I need to be more like that. 

13 years ago today we took a final picture as a physical family of 5 as we drove to the Valdosta Airport to put Lindsey on a plane to head back to Washington D.C. where she had been working since April. All was well in our little world. Everybody was thriving. Lindsey working, living and loving her new life in DC. Johnny had just completed his first semester of law school at UGA and James was about to begin his final semester at Valdosta High School. James would be graduating in May and heading off to the University Of Georgia in June-he hoped- to begin his freshman college experience and hopefully walk on to the Bulldog football team.

John and I were processing what was next for us. We were so very proud of our three kids but didn’t quite know what was around the corner for us.

17 days later with a phone call saying, “You need to come to Ocean Pond…James is missing”-10 words- our world suddenly- abruptly shattered.

I know I will never understand on this side of the veil why this had to be our plan…Why it had to have the outcome that it did…

I realized very early though that I didn’t have to understand it or like it but I could let God use this chapter of broken hearts and dreams to carry on a plan HE began in James. “Ministry”

Rarely will we understand death especially in the life of a young person. But even without the understanding of why it happened I can still CHOOSE to trust God to bring good out of a plan honestly-I won’t ever see as good!

I’ve learned many lessons through the loss of James and I’ve written about them. But one lesson I learned very early on is God’s Timing is not my timing and there is nothing I can grasp so tightly that if God chooses to take it I can keep. But what I continue to ask Him as we close out the 13 th year and move swiftly into year 14 of this irreplaceable young man we love and miss so much is “Lord, Please give us purpose. Use us as YOU used James to build Your Kingdom.” It was James’ greatest desire. John and I told friends last night that James did the hard part. He actually stepped into broken lives all around him and showed them the love of Christ. We go forward sharing that message. His was one on one many times sharing hope. We get to step into groups and we do it with passion because it is what he would be doing now if he were physically here.

I’m pondering and processing all this day means because this day like so many others was truly a gift from God to us 13 years ago.